winds of change

I was watching a Tunisian film called satin rouge (highly recommend it) when I was hit by a wave of nostalgia. It reminded me of my time in Montreal, while studying there I had exposure to so many different cultures and people. One of my dearest friend is from Morrocco and watching this movie hearing the Arabic felt like coming home though I do not understand one word of it.

It is interesting to note how life changes. There was a time in my life when I was a die hard romantic, in Pakistan one would never find me without my choorian. My favorite dress was chooridar and Angrakhas, dressing up was so much fun. My sisters and I would spend hours have beauty sessions where we ll put oil in each others hair. Now its been ages since I wore choorian or dressed up, I guess in Pakistan there is always some occasion to dress up, there aren't a lot of such occasions here . When I moved to Canada, life became a frenzy of activity between holding down jobs and school and social life there was hardly any time. There was so much to soak up, the culture and meeting new people. I spent so many late nights at the library or at the local cafes with friends "studying", talking, laughing.

In university we had such an idealistic view of life, my friends and I spent so many hours discussing politics and religions and cultures. We wanted to change the world and sitting around the table we tried to analyze why there were political tensions in different regions of the world. I had the chance to meet people from pretty much every continent. My summer spent working at a short term stay hostel for tourists was a cultural extravaganza. I was working with a Jew whose parents had immigranted from south America, a girl from Burkina Faso, another girl from China, there were a couple of canadians thrown in the mix and a Native. Man, the conversations we had were phenomenal and the people we met were pretty amazing too. There were South Americans, Algerians, Saudis, Americans, Irish, Swedish, people from Eastern Europe. I learnt of Religions I had never heard of and stories from all corners of the world abound when we d sit down for meals. Living there taught me how similar humans are and yet we like to create differences just so we can make these groups and distinctions.

When I moved to Seattle after I got married I had no idea I d miss Montreal so much, the city I was dying to get out of, I had hated the snow there and yet today I wished I could go back and spend the winter there. I love that city because it was there I truly understood who I am and my potential as a human being. It is only when I faced adversity and got to test my limits I got to know that yes, I could survive in trying circumstances. I was able to let go of my preconceived notions about many many things when I allowed my self to experience and step outside my comfort zone. I do miss those days when I shared meals with folks from across the globe, shared apartments and houses with so many different kinds of people. The last house I rented was from a Jewish couple, the neighbours used to call us a UN peace poster they found the idea of moslems and jews living together harmoniously quite amusing, infact when we had met the landlady to discuss renting the place she had explicitly told my sister and me to ask our parents permission if we could move in with them.

Now my life although not as exciting, has taken on a quiet rhythm, my days are spent being a mommy and a wife. The high of my day is seeing my daughter smile and welcoming my husband back home and watching him enjoy the meal I prepared for him. My life has become a constant flow of poopy diapers, laundry, vaccum, tidying up and cooking. I am now the CEO, CFO, Marketing consultant, Nurse, Chef and party planner all rolled into one of the M enterprises. Is this the life I had planned sitting drinking coffee? I don't know----- what I do know is that I am enjoying it thoroughly just as I had enjoyed being an explorer, living on a meager budget, when salvation army was the high point of fashion and home decore was a mish mash of craiglist and dumpster diving.

As the saying goes the only constant in life is change I wonder what the future holds.