What my life will be in 5 years or so I think

06/15/2021

Dear Diary,

I am feeling quite accomplished right now. The journey I began 5 years ago has been so fulfilling. It is true what they say the biggest investments we make is in our own selves, our health, our mind and our relationships. It is amazing what one is able to accomplish when one follows their own passions.

It is a glorious day today in San Francisco as I sit on my balcony gazing at the beautiful golden gate bridge. The view from this sea cliff home is so breathtaking, it mesmerizes me to no end no matter how many times I look at it. The last week has been pretty tough and I surely need this warm cup of chamomile tea to help my achy muscles, I did my fifth tough mudder challenge with Teresa and her team and it was AWESOME!!! I never could have imagined when I started training that one day my body would be this strong, the first time I did the challenge I had to forego quite a few obstacles because I was sure I would not be able to complete them. In the last few years, with my regular kickboxing training and KungFu training my body has gained strength in leaps and bounds. Not only is my body stronger but my mind is so much clearer, I am not stressed or anxious about the future. I have more confidence than I have had in a long long time. My KungFu instructor has told me in another year I will be ready to take my test and if I clear them I may start teaching students with him, that is a good start I want to eventually be able to train young girls and women in KungFu and kick boxing so they too maybe able to find this confidence.

Yes Diary I have been busy with all the energy I was able to harness from the training I started with Teresa, I was able to start learning new languages and computer programming. I have mastered French and Spanish. This year I will start Arabic and then it will be Mandarin my hardest languages to master yet but I am confident I can do it. I who at one time felt like a complete fool sitting in front of a computer can now program pretty well and gotten a handle on math too the subject  I was most afraid of throughout high school and college. All this has helped me to realize my dream of pursuing a PhD, so yes dear diary this Fall I will start my post doc degree in psychology and get my family therapy license. All this time I have been steadily building my knowledge base on the subject of trauma and how it affects us, learning techniques which can help and I feel in a few years I will be ready to start my own practice.

All three kids are doing so well everyone will be starting school this fall. Both the older ones going to Public school and the youngest going to Preschool. I am excited to start this new chapter in my life and explore all the new adventures that are in store for me.

Battles within.

Some battles are external and when we win those we can show the world. We can display the certificates and the medals with honor, but there are many battles which are internal and when we win those we may never be able to take the adulation of the crowd. One such battle is mental illness. In the USA the culture surrounding mental illnesses are slowly but surely shifting, people are beginning to realize what havoc they play on families and the person suffering from them.
 The case for mental illnesses in the Asian communities and the South Asian communities in particular is not the same. The culture of keeping face and honor takes precedence over everything in the culture and that is the reason many people are left floundering trying to find support when they are dealing with mental illness. When some one has an injury no one tells them to just keep a stiff upper lip and forget about it. If some one cut their hand and was bleeding all over the place you won't tell them to just ignore it, if that person was to say Oh, its nothing it will get better on its own you will think that person is not in their right senses and will probably drive them to the nearest hospital why is mental illness any different.
 Depression is known to kill too and  a person suffering from any mental disorder whether its depression, anxiety, panic disorders or any other thing is hurting just as much or more than a person bleeding. Its important to start challenging the narrative around these issues and diffusing the stigma around them so more people have the courage to share their stories and to seek help when they need it.
Having a problem is never the problem, refusing to see there is a problem and refusing to seek help and fix it are a much bigger issue. It takes a lot of work and dedication to deal with mental health issues. Mental health does not just affect the one person it affects every one surrounding that person. One such example is the case of post-partum depression, it not only affects the mother it affects her child or children. It is not something one can just snap out of and if some one has post-partum depression or clinical depression in general it does not mean they are weak. Our brain is an organ just like any other organ in our body if some one gets a heart attack we don't say oh he is weak then why must we say that about mental disease. If some one has heart disease he takes medication for it and makes life style changes and finds support in their communities to help them. It has to be the same for mental illness, a person suffering from mental illness needs professional help they might need medication along with life style changes and support from community, so lets give them that.
 Lets make a collective effort to change this rhetoric, lets seek help when we need it and lets be vocal about asking for help and vocal about our accomplishments when we defeat mental illnesses.