My country my first love......

Pakistan mean different things for different people. For me it is a big part of my identity of who I am today and that identity is an amalgamation of many sensations, experiences, sights and sounds.......

Here are a few that mean something to me, tell me what Pakistan means to you.

Pakistan is monsoons, the smell of the wet dirt .....

It is sleeping  out side on charpaoiz under the open sky and talking through the night with my cousins, uncles and aunts.

It is mangoes packed in ice in steel buckets and eaten at the canal. 

It is chapal kebabs and Kameeri Rotian

It is the choorian we wore on Chaand Raat

It is putting mehndi with all the cousins....

It is the voice of the Muazin from the mosque

It is my grandmothers hands

Samosa chaat, Aloo walay naan, Paratha rolls and pepsi....

Shopping at Ichara with my aunt

Shadiz....

putting up diyaz on 14th August

hiking in the mountains

sitting by the river swat

feeling a sense of belonging, an identity I wear with pride. 

In his eyes episode 3

 In the sweltering heat of the afternoon; every one was enjoying a Siesta. It seemed that all the birds and bugs were also quietly sitting in the shade passing time and waiting for evening to come. Rehaam was sitting in her room reading a magazine she had swiped off of her Khala's Khwateen Digest Collection. Uff !this is too boring for me she thought, I ll ask bua if she wants to accompany me to the book store and maybe I can buy a couple of new books. She went into the living room and asked Khala's permission to go out to the bookstore with Bua.
  Khala asked the driver to take out the car and soon she was at the book store with her
"Bua. Massi, i ll be a few minutes, you can stay in the car, its cooler here anyways." Rehaam said
 She entered the store and went to the best seller section. Her friend had told her about this new book the life of pi, she really wanted to check that out. She was browsing the book section when some books fell in the shelf next to her, she looked to her side and saw a gentleman picking them up, he looked familiar to her and when he looked up she knew why. The same enigmatic eyes greeted her. For a moment she forgot what she was thinking.
He smiled and said," Assalamo Alikum, funny running into you here?"
 Rehaam startled and came back to Earth "walikum Salam, she said, yes I was hoping to find some good books to read, so i thought i ll come check out this store. What are you buying."
" Oh I needed to get some books for my new courses so came to check out the prices," replied Hisham
"So what kind of books are you looking for." He asked
" I am looking for a book called the life of Pi, have you read it?" Rehaam asked.
"Hmmmmm, no I have not read that as yet, maybe you can lent it to me once you are done with it?" he said with a smile.
Rehaam laughed, "yeah right as if we ll keep running into each other. "
"You never know Rehaam we just might," he said with a shrug.
"I myself do enjoy Urdu literature and love reading Poetry. Faiz Ahmed Faiz is one of my favorite authors."Hisham said
 "Oh is he really," Rehaam replied. "I do not understand poetry at all, don't know what they are talking about; it is so metaphorical."
"Poetry is the language of love Rehaam," Hisham said. "I guess you ll understand poetry when  you ll understand love. "
"I do understand love jee, I love my family, I love my bua....." Rehaam replied defensively.
"Yes, that is true I guess.... hmmmm let me see," Hisham said, " why dont you read this book, he took out a book of poetry by the poetess Parveen Shakir. This is a good collection of poems read the Nazam titled Chehra mera tha (my face) you might have heard the song its by vital signs."
"Oh yes i have heard the song. I love that song." Reham exclaimed, "hmmm I guess i ll give it a shot. Thank you for the suggestion and let me return the favor by suggesting  the book, God of small things, it is by Arundathi Roy. It is one of my favorite books. Read it and tell me what you think." Rehaam said.
"I shall surely do that thank you," Hishaam said. "Ok let me buy the books I came here to buy, it was nice running into you, maybe I ll see you some where again he said with a mischievous grin."
Rehaam smiled, "yes maybe."
 He carried on and started to purchase his books while she browsed the shelves for a few more books and than came to the checkout her self and paid for her books.
   They returned home in time for the evening tea and snacks. Khala was sitting on the veranda and Khaloo as was his routine had returned home and was getting ready to go play golf at the Mess golf grounds. She said Salaam to khala and went to her room to put away her books. She freshened up and came to sit outside with khala.
" So Rehaam, did you buy any books from the store than," Khala asked.
"Oh yes khala I did get a few books, got two Urdu ones also, you d be happy to know as you are always telling me to read Urdu."Rehaam said
"Oh really you did, that is nice. What books did you get?" Khala asked
" I got a poetry book by Parveen Shakir and one by  one by Ashfaq Ahmad." replied Rehaam
"That is nice, do tell me what you think when you read them."Khala said.
    They were enjoying their tea and the sunset. Khaloo had also come back now from his golf and the talk had drifted to politics and the weather.
Khala said to Khaloo,  "We should have the icecream party soon. Mangoes are in season and we could make the hand churned ice cream. I had asked at the mess, they said we could borrow the ice cream machine so who all would you like to invite."
" Hmmm said Khaloo, begum as you wish, ofcourse we will be inviting all the usual friends and family make sure you do invite my old friend Sarfraz Shah, he recently moved from Bahawalpur to Multan. Invite his whole family for certain, I have not seen him in a long time. I know he married off both his daughters and two of his sons are off to boarding school but two of his sons I think are in Multan, in fact one of them is studying Medicine. Rehaam's ears pricked up at this tit bit of information, her heart fluttered and well she wished that this person was the one she has been running into for the past few days.
 Khala said," Rehaam we will be going to say Fatiha at the mausoleum of Shah Rukh-E- Alam tommorrow. We will be leaving after Fajr prayers, you are most welcome to join us. I usually distribute food and alms there as well. "
"Yes, Khala I would love to join you. I ll make sure I am up and ready. Where is Hassan bhai and Rabya apa? " she asked her.
"Hassan went to see some friends and Rabya would probably be inside reading." Khala said
" Ok, I ll be in her room if you need me." She left Khala and went into Rabya Baji's room, every one called Rabya baji, "Raj" and she was busy studying for her final board exams. She was a beautiful girl with thick dark hair and beautiful almond shaped eyes.
"What are you doing Raji," asked Rehaam.
"Nothing much trying to memorize these chemistry equations, I just hope I can score well for my exams and get accepted into Medical college otherwise Abu will be very disappointed," Raji said.
"InshAllah you will Raji, ok I ll not bother you, when you are free we can have a badminton match out in the ground, it will be good exercise and Allah knows I need to work off those samosas I just had with tea." Rehaam said.
Raji chuckled, "Oh Rehaam you worry too much, you are so slender, ok i ll come get you when i want to take a break."
   Rehaam went to her room and started to read through Parveen Shakir's poetry which poem was it that he has asked her to read, "Chehra" I think. She skipped to that poem first and read it, it was mesmerizing. She started to think about him again; she really did like his eyes. They were the color of honey but tended to  change to a greyish aqua , there were specks of gold in their depths. Snap out of it Rehaam why are you thinking of him so much, he is a total stranger. A couple of chance meetings mean nothing..... her line of though was broken when Raji came into the room. They went out to play badminton and played till dinner was served. After dinner Rehaam said her Isha prayers and went right off to sleep.
    The next morning was a bustle of activities, after prayers Khala, Raji, Bua, Khaloo and Rehaam went off to the mausoleum of Shah Rukhn-E-Alam.  The mausoleum is a beautiful construction of red brick and blue tiles. Its majestic beauty could be seen from afar due to its size and structure.  It is quite large and both the women and men section look onto the grave of the saint, so if one is standing on the women's side you can see into the men's side and vice versa. They went into the women's section while her Khaloo went to the men's section. After saying Fatiha she looked up and saw Hisham standing in the men's section, he looked up at the same time and their eyes locked across the sea of people. She felt her face flush and soon the sea of people receded back and it felt as if they were the only two people in the room  and all she was aware of were those beautiful eyes locked with her. The intensity of his gaze made her blush and she quickly looked down and when she looked back up he was gone.........

The 3 minutes when wisdom descended

Before I start this post, I just want to thank each and every one who has read my blogs. You have no idea how special that makes me feel when I go click on my posts and see how many people have read what I have written. Thank you for given my thoughts and written words a place in your life.

   I turned 30 a few months back and my sister called me and asked Apa how does it feel are you crying like Rachel of "Friends" did or are you drunk like Monica. I d say I am drunk, drunk on life that is. The night before my birthday I was sitting talking to a few friends and they joked how wise I must feel now and well in all the wisdom I have gained from the last decade I would love to share some tit bits with you ; keep them if you like otherwise press discard and empty the recycle bin of your mind.....
  Well I have gleaned 5 major lessons in my life so far; the  first major lesson is Don't Judge any one: we all experience life differently and in our limited perspectives we cannot always know how the other person experienced something so therefore we cannot sit or stand in judgement of any one. There is always going to be difference of opinion so lets just take it as that a difference of opinion and not as absolute truths which we need to fight over to death.
 Second major lesson: Forgive, I have learnt that forgiveness is not always for the person we are forgiving. It is more for us, when we forgive we are able to move on and able to let go. When we forgive we are allowing positive feelings to replace negative feelings. Positivity breeds hope, while negativity breeds despair and anguish. It is as if a wound has been bandaged and you can heal.
Third major lesson: Don't give up on your dreams, no matter how old you get, there should always be goals you want to attain and so go for them, don't make excuses just go for it. It is better to lose trying than not try at all. We all have such visions for our future and dreams when we are younger, keep those visions alive you can never know when something will get fulfilled unless you give it your best shot.
Fourth major lesson: Treat every one you meet as if you are going to die that day, give them your best side. This is especially true for our children and significant others because they are the ones who get the worst of our moods. Relationships are the most important things in our lives, make them count give them time and nurture them, good relationships breed happiness. Although we may think power and money is something that will give us higher satisfaction but I think in life happiness is far more important than any other thing and happiness comes from people in our lives not necessarily from things.
Fifth major lesson: A life well lived is far more important than a well preserved body and face. I am not saying that one should let them selves go but i do believe constantly obsessing over every year that is added to our lives, every wrinkle, every fat cell, every gray hair is just not worth the hassle. There are many people in this world who do not have the privilege of getting old. There are those who get old but do not experience anything i.e patients in comas, people with major brain damage. We are lucky to have reached this age and to have experienced it along the way. The big  3 O is the prime of our lives, we are no longer silly teenagers, no longer the vulnerable twenty somethings, we are now mature young adults ready to spring into the world and grasp it by the hand. What we do now counts more than ever, so lets make it count. Lets be thankful for the our today and all the tommorrow that we will be able to experience. 

In his eyes episode 2

 Rehaam watched the scenery passing by; it is wondrous how the scenery changes from mountains, to hills to plains. Pakistan is  a beautiful country she thought. To see such geographical diversity in the USA one would need to travel from the North of the country right down to the South and even than not be among some of the tallest mountains on the planet or one of the largest desert in the world.
     She stared outside, the sun was setting now; they were probably near Dorata station. She looked across the seat and Bua massi who  was finally up from her long nap was busy crocheting a shawl. She cannot sit still, she thought fondly. Bua Massi was not really very old, having been widowed at a young age she had been with her family for as long as she could remember. She was not very tall, a wispy woman but a formidable woman; that much she had seen when she would accompany her to the Bazaars and ensure no man who ever whistled or made a catcall her way lived to tell the tale, one time she had thrown her slipper at a guy on a cycle who had dared to make a rude comment, she smiled at the image. Bua Massi looked at her and said;" Bismillah karan bachay, what are you smiling at?", "oh nothing special Masi, did you like your tea?sorry it was cold by the time you woke up". "Nahin Nahin bachay, its ok at the time having a cup of tea was a blessing in it self." replied Bua Massi.

    Bua Massi looked at her charge, she had taken care of Rehaam since Rehaam had been 2.  Having lost her husband at a young age and having no one to turn to Syed Sahib had been like an angel for her, her late husband had worked for Syed Sahib at his factory and after he died, Syed Sahib had bought her to his house and she had been serving his family as an ayah since. Rehaam had grown into a gorgeous young lady she thought; she had beautiful curly black hair and eyes the color of the sky on a clear day. She was not rail thin like the trend was these days, but was not chunky either. In Bua massi's eyes she was just right.

   Rehaam thought about her khala's house it was  in the Cantt area, her khaloo was a Colonel in the Pakistan army so they lived in a large house built in the style of the British Raj. They had big beautiful gardens which were tended by a team of gardeners. Every season bought with it a ton of fruit and Khala would have massive ice cream parties, where she would use the hand crank ice cream makers and produce lots of ice cream with the fresh fruits. Reham felt excited about her trip now, this meant a yummy mango party with lots of ice cream and fresh mangoes. Her thoughts drifted off to her Parents now; she hoped Baba was making a quick recovery, he had had some trouble with his pancreas and had needed to be hospitalized, Baba had worked very hard all his life during the time he was setting up his sugar mill in Rajan pur he had landed a very lucrative deal with a company in the USA; the company produced industrial machinery but was struggling, so Baba being the astute business man bought the company and had been able to turn it around. It had gone from a small struggling firm to a large business. Baba split his time between the US and Pakistan; although Rehaam and her siblings had gone to visit the US numerous times, her father felt it was best for them to live  in Pakistan and be close to the family and the cultural heritage.

  Night had fallen now, one could see the stars in the clear of the night, they came to a halt at Mahmud Kot station, it was amazing how much activity there was on the platforms even though it was night fall. There were people sleeping or trying to sleep on the benches, others were moving quickly to catch their trains while the kulis lugged the huge bags on their heads running to keep up.

Hisham came to their berth and said, "Assalamo Alikum, I was about to go and get some thing to eat as the dining cart is having some sort of problem and they are not able to serve any food, would you like to have something to eat as well."
Rehaam looked at him smiled and said," No no thank you; that is very kind of you but we have food with us, infact if you like you can join us we have a lot and Multan is only another hour or so from here. Bua Massi this is Hisham sahib he also lives in Multan and is studying at Nishtar Medical College, we got acquainted a few stations back." Reham told bua massi.
"Assalamo Alikum bua",Hisham said politely.
"Walikum Salam", Bua said, :haan haan beta do join us for some food. I  made extra, do you like aloo kay paratha and we have achar also."
"Oh no no, I could not, i would never want to impose," Hisham said sheepishly.
"Nahin beta you are not imposing, we would love to have you for company", said bua
"Ok if that is the case why not; i have not had Aloo Parathas for  quite a while now." Hisham said
" So beta, where do you  live in Multan? " inquired Bua
"I live on Bosan Road jee." Replied Hisham
" What is it that you do?" asked Bua
" I am studying Medicine at Nishtar Medical College at the moment I am in my 3 rd year." Hisham said
"What does  your father do Bua Massi inquired but before she could complete her sentence Rehaam interrupted her, "dont give him the 3rd degree Bua," Rehaam said embarrassed by this keen interest of her bua in their guest.
" I am only asking Beti to aquaint my self with this gentleman here." replied Bua defensively
 Hisham laughed and said, "Oh its ok Rehaam dont worry about it, My father used to work for the government but he is retired now and is busy taking care of our ancestral lands"
"Oh really, that is nice," Rehaam exclaimed," What kind of crops do you grow on your lands?"
"We have Orange orchards and Mango orchards. We grow wheat, corn, and cotton mostly.... Wow, Bua jee these are delicious parathas, Hisham said

They were enjoying the food and conversation and before they knew it they were entering Multan Cantt station. They packed everything and got ready to get off.
 Hisham said, "thank you so much for  your hospitality I wish you a safe stay here."
 Bua Massi said," it was our pleasure son. Khuda Hafiz."
 After Hisham left Rehaam waved a Khulli over and asked him to take the bags, they disembarked from the train and soon found their Khala and Khaloo waiting for them.....

 Wait for Episode 3.