Dreams

Dreams that weave;

their silky webs.

Soft and tangly

webby and sticky

Dreams that drone like flies

buzz in your head

make you cry;

on a lazy summer afternoon

Dreams like blue bottles

smashed against the shores of conciousness

their bellies full of juices

lost forever

Dreams like noisy children

sitting, standing laughing on the bus

Dreams like soapy bubbles of the dishwasher

Dreams which are loud

some which are quite

like the gentle breadth of a sleeping child

When we steel someones dreams

we rob him of his all

He is alone now

Left with wide vacant eyes,

no hope no dreams

Nothing-----

This poem was inspired by a quote I had read by Carrol Spinney (big bird)

The most important lesson I've learnt is that first you have to dream, and than you have to believe in your dreams; that is the only way for them to come true. There will be set backs and disappointments, but do not let them deter you from your plans, your beliefs, your dreams. Dare to dream if you don't your dreams will never come to be. Imagine your world the way you want it to be, than try to make it that way. That is what big bird teaches on sesame street, and that's what I've learnt from playing him. Dream on -----

Mr Khan you may be on to something

I am sure every one has seen the you tube video of Mr Shahrukh Khan talking about the controversy of the former Air Chief Marshall's picture in some Indian Ads and Pakistani players not being choose in some other incident. I agree with his statement that we should not let politics come into sports, the way I think we should not let political rivalries come into anything and in fact it is us who have the power to change the political climate if we change our views.

I think it is human nature to distrust anything that we do not understand. All our lives as kids we have been told over and over how India is not a good neighbor and they are out to get us and don't want us to survive as a nation, as a child I used to think all Indians are bad people, than one day I remember in Pakistan we were visited by two south Indians from Singapore. They were the guest of one of my uncles and I remember being truly fascinated by them, it was only on Doordarshan before than; that I had seen ladies in saris with bindis on their heads and being young and naive I had asked my mom how come they are in our house are they not bad people and she had said no beta, no one is bad; all people are good.

Cut scene to 2004 when I had moved to Montreal to pursue my studies, according to the rules at university no students were allowed to stay on campus during the summer and being the poor church mouse of a student that I was back than, having very little money and knowing no one in a new place I had no where to go to. I remember going to a lecture on dinosaur remains where I had seen a desi sitting amongst the crowd, just seeing someone who looked like me was such a relief for me. I think only a person who has had to go and live some where completely foreign where you know no one can understand the feeling of joy that comes with seeing some one whom you can relate to. During the course of the lecture I got to know her and found out she was a student from India studying biology as well. I had mentioned how I was searching for summer housing and missed home and my mom's cooking. A few days later I saw her again and she invited me to her house as she did not live on campus and cooked me a delicious meal complete with hand made rotis I was completely blown away here was someone I hardly knew who was showing me such a lot of generosity she told me that I could stay with her during the summer and wont have to pay any rent or utilities just split the grocery bill with her I had remembered being skeptical at first but having no choice had taken her up on the offer. She had helped me acquire a summer job and had gone to lengths to celebrate my birthday by baking me a home made cake and inviting her other friends. I was missing home so much that day, it was my first birthday away from home and having some one who went to such lengths to take care of me was a great feeling.

When I had moved in with my desi friend I had had some distrust and I remember her joking with me one time, hey i am not going to kill you I promise. Over time living with her and meeting her friends I had realized how much I needed to learn about the Indian culture and its history and it was not at all what i had seen on TV for so long. So Mr Khan I agree with you, lets keep an open mind and not let politics color our judgement we folks who are fortunate enough to live in countries where we have the opportunity to meet people from other nations should use this opportunity and try to break down the barriers through communication. Friends let us embrace our neighbors and let go of our preconceived ideas.

Between a kick and a stretch

I got a new tenant recently whom I 'll hopefully be evicting in the first week of march if all goes well. This young lady is god,s gift to me and she very stealthily rented out my belly and than slowly took over my heart. First she took a small space in the basement of my heart and mind and than slowly but surely she took up more and more room and bought in more and more of her stuff until she felt that she owned the belly lodge. The belly lodge previously was occupied by stomach, liver, kidneys and other anatomical structures, these days it is occupied by the one and only Baby Alina who likes to kick up her heels and dance to some Bollywood tunes in the middle of the night I am sure she can beat Malika Khan's dancing number chaiya chaiya on the top of the train any day. The new tenant has a very specific dietary requirements she abhors chicken but loves potatoes and mangoes and milk. Loves to have cheese pizza from Pizza hut in the middle of the night, if Pizza hut is not available papa Jones would do but for what ever reason papa Jones refused to give her the pizza last time she went there because they only deliver after 10 and even if you are in the shop they cannot let you carry out the pizza because as the sign says they can only deliver so who cares if the economy is in taters and businesses are scrambling for customers if the door says delivery only after 10. Don't come in and ask for no pizza to carry out cause we want to blow money on gas and come to your house and give you that pizza. Ahem sorry had to have that rant I am still mad at those silly guys hope their wives get pregnant and want pizza and don't get any than they ll know what is coming to them.

So as I was saying the tenant is an avid dancer, basket ball player a very persistent foot ball player who play is the center forward for her team so she practices by kicking consistently for two to three hours every night and when she is tired she likes to rest by sticking her big toe in between the ribs and thinking about life and its many mysteries. If i get lucky and manage to get her to sleep Baby decides it needs to do yoga and does the sitting snake and standing cobra and rolling dog in my tummy.

Even after all this the funniest part is that I cant seem to get mad at this little angel who keeps me up at night kicks me black and blue if i sit for longer than she likes or eat something she does not want. Having children is a miracle not only because of the human being growing inside us but the feelings that grow with it, its indescribable amazing wonderful and great. Oh how I wish I could put it in words.

eulogy to the purple car

After writing my previous blog about the cars, I received a phone call from my husbands friend. This friend he is one in a million I tell you cause I don't know many people who would get employed by the likes of Microsoft and would willing leave all that dough to go and pursue the life of a poor student and live in the icy frigid temperatures of the east coast to pursue a PhD in computer science. This fellow really loves his computers that is all I can say, more on the love of gadgets and men next time. The other amazing part about this guy is that he is a real clean freak and he is a good cook and on top of all this he has the heart of an elephant, never for all the time that he was here was his house door ever locked, anyone and every one who landed on the west coast came to his house first. Folks were forever, sleeping or eating or watching television in that house. He is also the most loyal person I know cause who else would call and speak his mind about how angry he felt because I had insulted his beloved car, which he no longer has,when he should have been studying for an exam the next day. So here are the necessary corrections, the car was a fire bird not a thunder bird, it was a convertible which clocked a pretty impressive speed very quickly infact I think it could have easily substituted for a time machine if Steven Spielberg had seen it before the Delorian and it would have been the purple time machine which would be the famous back to the future car and not the black broken down Delorian we all saw and loved. The car was exchanged for a black racing bike and not a yellow mustard one infact there is no color in car color language called mustard yellow. Plus the previous bike owned by the purple car owner was the color of racing yellow, what color is that you ask it is the one next to the marathon pink on the color spectrum ask any artist they ll tell you. Yes; most importantly the color of the car is navy blue ehem ehem ehem no comments.

So sorry purple, i mean navy blue car where ever you live and work these days you were a joy to have around and I feel badly if I hurt your feelings, I am sure the neighbors miss your musical numbers and the phut phut as you rolled down the rolling streets of Redmond cause your owner certainly does :D and honestly so do we from time to time :)

Dad and his girls

The other day my father calls me and he is totally distraught, I got worried for a few seconds. First I got worried that he called me cause he almost never calls me, i call him and tell him what is going on in my life and he pretends to listen after which he usually says shoo off now i need to work, or here talk to your mother. Well he called me to tell me that his princess "The Cadillac" had been sold to the highest bidder; that car had been standing in the garage taking up space for almost a year now due to a seized engine, just last week my sister had called me to tell me that the cadillac had been sold at the junk yard. I was flabbergasted, that was not possible dad would probably sell one of us before he sold that car really. Just as i suspected when i called home my sister candidly informed me that no the car was standing where it always did under the shelving unit in the garage. This time round he had actually sold it to his most trusted car mechanic who has taken off numerous cars off of our hands before; with the promise that he was to buy a new engine and fix the car and use it for him self. I used to think that car would probably stand in the garage even after we all are gone, it would be written down in his will that the car be donated to a museum or at worst have it own trust fund.

See my father has always had a passion for broken down cars, i still remember as a child when he d bring home an old old model from the junk yard and than try and repair. There was the black mercedes with the hole in the bottom, the cetron with the hole in the roof which had an umbrellas in it. The volkswagon which had a mind of its own and only started when it wanted to and the all time favorite, the mustard colored mercedes which was so loud that neighbours confused it with a dump truck.

Well my dad says men who take care of their cars, take care of their wives and daughters too. I say if they have time after taking care of their cars they might take care of their wives. I never will understand the fascination men have with cars, one of my husbands friend had a purple colored monstrosity he was very very possessive about. It was a Pontiac Thunderbird he had rigged up so it was louder than a supersonic jet, it was colored the gay color of purple and one could easily mistake it for Barney the dinosaur and he had the back seats taken out. When that baby rolled up people shook up and took notice. That car was probably the longest running add on craiglist when it was put up to be sold, not so much cause no one wanted to buy it, but because the seller was very particular whom the car was going to be sold to, it was like giving a daughter in marriage. The match had to be perfect and she had to be happy with the fellow. Finally some lucky dude got it in exchange for his mustard yellow bike and some cash.

Same is the case with my father and his Cadillac he has finally married her off along with his first born his precious van and now he is only left with two of his precious princesses and his daughters. Lumina refuses to run more than 10 km without bursting a tire and sonata well that car has had every one of us learn how to drive on it so its gone from a sedan to a Suzuki Mehran in a matter of a few years. I have hope now because if he can sell the Cadillac he can sell them as well. He was quite jealous of the fact that now the "daughter in law" (bahoo rani) as he refers to moms car will be standing in the garage; the queen bee had been dethroned as to speak.

Advice for husbands

I got this really funny e mail from my father the other day and I thought I really must share it with all my dear friends and most importantly their husbands, it is a good thing non of them play golf. The way golf has taken a turn from being a sport of gentlemen to being the sport of gentle men to the sport of men who frequent gentlemen's clubs.

so here it is advice men aught to sit up and listen to

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND:

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim, Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, June. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for June to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the 19^th hole at the golf club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed..

Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support June. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,
Jim


EDITOR'S NOTE:
Jim died suddenly on February 7 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife June was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club

The reason I felt compelled to share this advice was for one more reason, yesterday a group of us friends got together to watch a movie after a day of window shopping at the restaurant depot; why were we shopping there is another tale i ll tell you at another time, however, we got together at a friends place to watch a movie and as every one was really hungry the girls were assigned the task of preparing something to eat. So all us females were in the kitchen just as hungry as our respective husbands cooking and cleaning while they sat and tactfully let us know how hungry they were and were so in need of nourishment; that waiting one more minute could result in fainting spells and such. After eating once more they sat and discussed important worldly matters while the women were assigned the job of clean up. Hmmmmm, golf clubs anyone :D

Mommys lemon tree and than some

My mom did figure out what to do with those extra lemons, she made marmalade which according to her got shipped and grabbed in two days and now there is a whole new batch waiting to be cooked and canned. According to her she does not have enough to do, so atleast making marmalade will help her stay busy. But just to recap this just a short list of all that she does do; works two jobs, house work, taking care of a special needs kid, making the layette for my baby, crocheting afghans and such, planning birthday parties, listening to endless phone calls from her two errant daughters and taking care of a house hold full of people and yet she feels she does not have enough work. Mommy you are a trooper !!!!!

Mommy and her Lemon Tree

My mom is an amazing woman, she has time to take care of a house, a husband, three kids who stay at home one of whom is a special needs and keep track of two errant daughters; who are off to one adventure after another. In addition she holds down two jobs and has enough time to garden; while i have my hands full with just being a home maker.

So the other day my sister let me in on a little secret they are on the verge of committing murder, they are thinking of chopping down the dastardly lemon tree in the garden. Which has been fruiting all season; i mean the tree just wont stop, first all the fruit was taken down and juiced and stored, next time the fruit was distributed to friends, family and even to some foes and now that no one is willing to take any more of fruit, my mom has been busy finding new ways to use lemons. A few months back this had been the case with her fig tree. There was fig jam, fig preserves, fig bread, fig pudding you name it she figged it. Now dad and the little uns are planning to hi-jack and chop down the lemon tree before everything has lemon in it. Ami had tried to sell me on the idea of bringing back lemons in my suitcase, mind you my mother is a formidable woman and disagreeing with her requires a lot of gut. Very gingerly I dissuaded her from the idea and now the last i heard she was busy finding new recipes for lemon bars to use the lemons on.

As I said my mom is an amazing women she does not give up, she never gave up on her kids and i am sure she wont give up on her lemon tree until something good comes of it and as far as dad and the kids go with their plans, I ll tell them this you can chop down as many orange trees as you want but don't you chop down that lemon tree.